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When is it Time to Say Goodbye?

The Good Dog Blog — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 16:05:10 GMT

Making the commitment to owning a pet means recognizing that one day you will have to say goodbye. Sometimes (just like with our human loved ones) we do not have a choice or a say as to when this will happen. Other times it is on us to make the decision as to when that goodbye will happen. The most difficult decision a pet owner can make is the timing of that goodbye.

We don’t want to cut short the life of our best friend, but we don’t want our best friend to suffer either. So how do we know when it’s time to say goodbye? As painful as it is for us, it is so important that we put the needs of our pet first when we make this decision. As a pet professional, I have clients ask me periodically if they should put their pet to sleep – if it’s time. It is never my decision and I try to make that clear to the pet parent that I cannot make that decision for them. But I can give them some guidance.

Here are some of the questions I ask my clients who are trying to make this most heartbreaking decision. These are the same questions I’m currently facing with my beautiful, 14 ½ year old best friend, Cashew.

1. Does she still greet you at the door when you come home? If she doesn’t hear you
come in due to hearing loss, does she still greet you with enthusiasm when she
realizes that you’re home?

2. Is she still interested in food? Does she eat her usual ration of food at each meal?

3. Is she enthusiastic about eating? Does she go to her regular eating spot on her own,
or do you have to bring the bowl to her now?

4. Is she still excited by treats?

5. Does she still engage family members (human or other animals) and seek love and
affection?

6. Does she still engage in play – either accepting the offer of another or initiating play
on her own?

7. Does she still enjoy outings – car rides, trips to the park (even if her actual activity
level at the park is lower than it used to be)

8. Is her potty training still good? Can she control her bladder and bowels and go to
the right spot for elimination?

9. Can she still groom herself - clean her genital region?

If you answered yes to these 9 questions, then your dog still has a good quality of life and is still clearly living.

1. Does she fail to greet you when you get home – little more than acknowledge you
with a lift of the head or a stilted wag of the tail?

2. Has she lost interest in eating?

3. Has she stopped coming when you call her for dinner?

4. Does she seem depressed and lethargic?

5. Is she sleeping significantly more (or increasingly more and more) than usual?

6. Has she lost interest in treats?

7. Has she lost interest in playing?

8. Has she stopped actively seeking attention and affection?

9. Has she lost interest in outings?

10. Is she unable to control her bladder/bowels? Is she having accidents when she didn't
used to?

11. Can she no longer groom her genital area?

12. Is she physically in pain?
a. Has her mobility decreased? Is she limping, having trouble getting up, etc?

b. Does she have other health ailments like cancer, heart disease, kidney disease?

If you answered yes to these 12 questions then quality of life is suffering or non-existent.

The likelihood is that you answered ‘yes’ to some questions on each list. And this is where we find the grey area. It is here that we need to weigh the individual answers and try to determine if our dog’s quality of life is suffering. To me, this is the key. When my Cashew’s quality of life is diminished to the point that she is getting no joy out of continuing on, I will be forced to say goodbye to my best friend of the last 13.5 years. And I have some ‘yeses’ on both lists. She still greets and engages in play and is excited by food and the concept of outings, but she also has a very painful pinched nerve and significant muscle atrophy that sometimes makes it impossible for her to put weight on her left hind leg. So far, I have managed this with medicine, acupuncture and carrying her up the stairs when necessary (all 60 lbs of her). But I’m aware of it and I’m watching it. So far, the ‘yeses’ on the first list outnumber and outweigh the ‘yeses’ on the second list.

When she can no longer groom herself... when she is no longer interested in food or seeking attention, I will know that we have reached the end of our journey. I will know that the balance has shifted. I dread that day, but by being realistic and responsible and putting Cashew’s needs ahead of my own, I feel that I am helping myself be as prepared as I can possibly be. I’ll never be ready to say goodbye, but I can be prepared by giving myself some clear guidelines by which to help me make that decision.

BOWSER'S BABY "BROTHER" - Preparing to bring a new baby home

The Good Dog Blog — Fri, 20 May 2011 18:28:31 GMT

SAFETY FIRST

IT IS NEVER OK TO LEAVE A DOG AND A CHILD UNATTENDED TOGETHER. EVER. CHILDREN ACT IN SPONTANEOUS AND SPORATIC WAYS, THEY HAVE NO SENSE OF BOUNDARIES; THEY MAKE NOISES AND GRAB HOLD OF BODY PARTS, OFTEN PULLING RATHER HARD. IF AN ADULT IS NOT AROUND TO HELP THE CHILD LEARN APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR WITH THE DOG, OR TO HELP THE DOG FEEL SAFE AND SECURE, WE ARE SETTING THE STAGE FOR BITES WHICH CAN BE SEVERE. SO, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE OR TRUST THE DOG, NEVER LEAVE THE DOG ALONE WITH A CHILD BECAUSE WE CANNOT TRUST THE CHILD TO UNDERSTAND HOW TO BEHAVE.

BOWSER WASN'T CONSULTED

Bowser has been your "child" since the day he arrived. You love him, cuddle him, dote on him... he's the center of the world and has been for quite a while. Everyone is happy with this arrangement, especially Bowser. But.... you're expecting a baby now and you want to make the transition from "only dog" to "big brother" as smooth as possible.

The first thing to do is to recognize that Bowser was not consulted about this massive change that's about to occur. No one said, "Hey, Bowser, what do you think about the idea of bringing home a helpless little being that smells funny, cries, poops and will take pretty much all of my time, leaving virtually nothing left for you?" And if we did actually say that to Bowser, what do you think his response would be? I doubt he'd say, "Sure! You go ahead and do that. As long as the back door is opened a couple times per day and there's food in my bowl, I don't need any actual attention. I don't need love and play and cuddle. I don't mind being pushed out of the room all the time, watching from the doorway as everyone comes over and dotes on the new ‘little bundle of....’ "

While this may sound a bit melodramatic, it's important to recognize how the world is going to change for Bowser. You're going to be exhausted (Mom and Dad), which means you're going to be irritable and also so overwhelmed with love and fear of doing the "wrong" thing that you won't know which way is up. You will be all consumed with taking care of baby (and eventually going back to work) and you really won't have time for Bowser like you used to. And you will be telling Bowser "no" a lot more and shooing him away from places so that there's room for baby. Put yourself in Bowser's position - all of these not so pleasant things started right when that little creature moved in. Bad creature..... and then Bowser comes to resent baby.

WHAT WE CAN DO TO HELP

But, there are some basic things you can do to help Bowser prepare for this major change in the family dynamic; that will make the newcomer a pleasant addition to Bowser's world rather than a thorn in his side.

Preparation is key. You will want to start early - the earlier the better, but even if you're just a week away from delivery, you can still do some things to help. Talking to Bowser and explaining to him what's about to happen is clearly not going to work. What will work, though, is practicing. Getting the baby gear together and practicing with it so that Bowser has a chance to get used to as many of the changes as possible before the really huge change arrives.

Get the nursery set up ASAP and let Bowser spend time investigating the space. Let him sniff the crib and the Diaper Genie. Let him smell the stuffed animals (but don't allow him to take the toys in his mouth). Sprinkle some baby powder on the changing table and let him sniff it. Get the stroller out and let him investigate it while it's perfectly still and then when he's clearly comfortable with it, slowly roll it around a bit so he can get used to how it moves, what its turning radius is, etc. Let him thoroughly investigate the car seat and high chair, the bassinet, the receiving blanket, etc, etc, etc.

Now, here’s where the fun begins. You will probably feel a little goofy doing the next steps, but KNOW that you are educating Bowser and helping him be as comfortable with all things ‘baby’ as he can be without actually meeting baby…

Invest in a life-like baby doll - realistic in size. Put some (as my 2-year-old nephew says) "butt cream" on the doll, a diaper and a onsie. Let Bowser sniff and investigate this so long as he's calm about it. Encourage him and praise his calm interest. If he gets over stimulated, move the doll away while you tell Bowser, "Calm" or "Easy" or "Gentle" or "Settle" or whatever word feels right to you and your family. Wait for Bowser to calm himself and then offer him another chance to 'meet' the baby doll.

You'll also want to invest in a CD of baby noises and some lullabies to help Bowser become accustomed to the various noises that babies make (some cute, many very annoying when left unchecked...). I'm sure there are multiple options out there, but the one I found recently is called Preparing Fido and seems to be a good compilation of appropriate vocalizations. http://www.preparingfido.com/

Get the baby monitors set up and here's where the fun begins....

Carry the baby doll around with you frequently and gently create boundaries when baby is in your arm – Bowser is not allowed to jump, he’s not allowed to climb in your lap, he’s not allowed to be overly nosy, etc. Have the doll in the baby seat, in a bassinet, wherever you expect to have baby a lot. Have the boom box in the same room as the doll and at least 4 times per day you'll turn on the CD and let it run for a while. Make sure that at least 50% of the time Bowser is NOT in the room when the noise starts. Also make sure that at least 30% of the time he IS in the room. We are trying to teach Bowser that the noise comes from the baby (hence the CD plays in the same room as the doll), but that crying does not start only when he’s present or only when he’s not. We want him to get used to it starting randomly and in many rooms of the house. So sometimes you'll put the doll in the crib and then 5- 20 minutes later, slip in and turn on the CD. Sometimes you'll turn on the CD in the family room, the kitchen, your bedroom, etc. Bowser will hear the crying/cooing both from the room where it's emanating, but also through the baby monitors. Respond the way you would in the real world - let the baby ‘cry’ for a couple minutes, and then go in and "soothe" the doll, turning off the CD a moment or two after picking up baby.. Sometimes let the CD just play as the crying does stop eventually when the track ends. Make sure that Bowser sees you interacting with the doll while the crying continues because, no matter how much we love our babies, sometimes they will not take comfort for a while and continue to cry no matter what we try. We want Bowser to learn that you will be responsible for baby, you are not hurting baby even if the crying doesn’t stop, and that he does not need to be responsible for baby at all.

NOTE: Start with the volume low - low enough that Bowser does not seem to really show any interest in it other than perhaps glancing in the direction of the noise when it starts. Keep it at this volume for several days or even a couple weeks. When Bowser is completely comfortable and shows no interest at all in the CD, then nudge up the volume by just one level (e.g. from level 3 to level 4). Keep it at the new volume for several days to a week or more, until Bowser seems completely unperturbed by the crying and various noises. Build up slowly, just one level (or even a half level) at a time until you are playing the CD at full volume as this will be the most realistic volume of baby's cry.

Practice all aspects of baby's life. Practice sitting and rocking or ‘nursing’ baby and ask Bowser to hang out near by, so long as he's polite. Set some basic space boundaries such that when baby is in your arms, Bowser should be a polite 6-10 inches away at the nearest, unless you specifically invite him closer. If he's on the couch next to you, make sure he's respecting that space. If he's being polite and relaxed, you can reach over and pet him, but DON'T LET HIM CLIMB IN YOUR LAP WHEN BABY IS IN YOUR ARMS.

Practice changing diapers (you can take off and put on the same diaper to save them before the real thing) so that Bowser can see the process. If you want to make a rule that Bowser isn't allowed in the nursery, practice having him do a Stay just outside the door. This will probably take two of you so one can "change the baby" while the other is praising/treating or correcting Bowser (correction involves a verbal "not it" and encouraging him back to the appropriate location, offering treats and verbal praise when he respects the boundary).

Practice putting baby in the stroller or car seat. Practice going for walks with baby and Bowser. Put the doll in the stroller and take Bowser for a walk. If people ask why you're walking with a baby doll in a stroller, you can proudly tell them that you're helping Bowser to get ready for his roll as ‘big brother’ and you want to make sure he's prepared to join you on your walks because you don’t want him to be left out. Make sure that you DO NOT put the leash on the handle of the stroller. Safety first, after all. If Bowser spots a squirrel across the street and is compelled to give chase, you do not want him dragging the stroller (falling on its side, no doubt) behind him. Make sure that you are holding the leash in your hand. In the end, as scary as it sounds, it's better to let go of Bowser's leash and deal with the consequences of his running off than risk the safety of your baby or yourself.

The key to all the prep is taking the time to practice all of the activities that will occur regularly. Give Bowser as much opportunity as possible to watch and be part of, always encouraging and praising calm behavior and gently setting boundaries so that he learns early that he's not allowed to lay on the blanket on the floor, he's not allowed to play with the bottles, teething rings, stuffed animals, etc. Make sure that when you have these things out, you make a point of loving him, praising him, playing with him with his own toys, offering treats and generally just making his whole experience pleasant.

Also, practice Bowser’s activities with baby present. Hold the baby doll, or place it in a high chair while you feed Bowser (infants and children should NEVER be moving around a room when the dog is eating, no matter what). Have baby in the bassinet or in the arms of one parent while the other is playing with Bowser or training with Bowser all in the same room. Go for car rides with baby doll in the car seat and Bowser where he will sit. If Bowser has always been in the back seat, you will need to shift him to the front seat, or if you have a station wagon or SUV, you’ll need to shift him to the “way back” and put a barrier up so he can’t jump over the seat.

ULTIMATE GOAL

Our ultimate goal is to include Bowser in as much of baby’s life as possible. We want him to be calm and relaxed. We want to encourage quiet curiosity and interaction. It’s OK to let Bowser sniff the feet or bottom of baby doll. It’s OK to let him do this with the real thing as well, so long as it’s supervised. It’s OK to let him lick feet and hands, but discourage face licking by putting your hand between his face and baby’s and moving baby a bit further away.

If you are holding baby (the doll or the real thing) and Bowser is being too rambunctious or invading your personal space too much, you can turn your back or stand up and turn your back so that you are protecting baby and, with your body language, telling Bowser that you don’t like his current behavior. Once he settles, you can face him again and encourage calmer interaction.

There is a learning curve here and it will take time and practice for Bowser to learn what’s allowed and what’s polite. Babies are curious creatures with loads of interesting smells and worthy of much investigation. Some dogs fall immediately into a friend roll, some discover their inner caretaker and are extremely gentle and protective of baby. Other dogs are wary and become stressed by this strange little being that has moved in and taken over. No matter how much prep you do with Bowser, you will not really know how he’ll respond until the real baby is home and the actual routines begin to develop. By exposing him to everything ‘baby’ ahead of time, you can dramatically lower his level of stress because then it’s just the baby that’s new, but not all the noises, smells, gadgets, routines, etc.

HE MAY STILL BE STRESSED

Be prepared that Bowser may still “freak out” a bit when baby comes home from the hospital. This is normal. Everyone will be exhausted and there will be loads of people streaming in and out to meet the newest family member. Hormones will be raging from birth and nursing. Dad’s hormones may also be increased as his paternal instincts kick in, which means that Mom and Dad don’t smell quite right… Don’t force Bowser to be in the room with baby. If he chooses to leave the room, that’s OK. If he gets up and leaves every time baby cries, let him. He’s getting out of the way and giving you a chance to take care of it. If he comes from another room to see what’s going on, that’s OK too, just don’t allow him to get in the way of your tending to baby. Be gentle with Bowser, guiding him to appropriate behavior – don’t punish him if he gets too close or takes a baby toy. Simply redirect him and praise him for better choices. If we punish him or constantly exclude him, he will begin to resent baby and see baby’s presence as a cue that he will get punished. That’s a recipe for disaster.

Also, and this is important (thanks for hangin’ in ‘till the end) – as you practice all the baby activities, you will need to wean down the amount of direct attention that Bowser gets. He can still be in the room, but if he is used to being on your lap or snuggled right up to you from 8-11 every night as you watch TV, you will need to help him learn that he can be in the room still, but perhaps on the cushion next to you, or on the floor at your feet. This is a crucial part of the practice. If he continues to get all the attention he’s ever gotten and then baby comes home and you don’t interact with him (other than feeding and potty time) for a week, he will feel that. So, begin to spend less and less time offering him direct attention. You can cut it down by just 15 minutes every few days so that by the time baby comes, he’s only getting perhaps 50% of the physical love and cuddle time he was getting. This will go a long way toward smoothing out that transition.

In short, you want to set Bowser up for success so that he can be part of baby's life as much as possible. So practice every aspect that you can in the weeks or months prior to baby’s arrival. You still won’t know exactly how he’ll respond to this change, but at least you will be confident that he was exposed to most of the baby stuff early and is at least somewhat familiar with it so it's not all totally new and sudden.

Once baby does arrive, make sure that there is quality time set aside for Bowser. Make sure that each human spends at least 10 minutes per day alone with Bowser, loving him, playing with him, taking him for a private walk or a game in the back yard - without baby. Just as if Bowser were a human boy, you want to take the time to reassure him that he's not being kicked out nor is he loved any less just because there's a new member to the family. So, it may be that one day Dad takes Bowser for romp while Mom is home with baby and the next day Mom takes Bowser for a long walk while Dad is home with the baby. Just make sure that even though there is less time overall with Bowser, there is still designated quality time that is just for Bowser as well.

RECOMMENDED READING

I HIGHLY recommend the book On Talking Terms with Dogs – Calming Signals, by Turid Rugaas.

http://www.dogwise.com/ItemDetails.cfm?ID=DTB527&AffiliateID=47239&Method=3

For those that like a visual lesson, you can also buy the book with a DVD that shows the signals and includes explanations and examples of how human body language directly affects the emotional state of the dog in question.

http://www.dogwise.com/itemdetails.cfm?ID=A251

It’s a thin book and it describes many very subtle cues that dogs give when they are nervous/ anxious/ fearful and trying to calm themselves or others or defuse what they perceive as building tension in an effort to avoid conflict. I encourage about-to-be parents to read this book so that they can watch Bowser and be aware when his subtle body language is saying he’s uncertain or uncomfortable. If you know how to read your dog, you can quickly adjust activity to help him feel more comfortable. And as infants become toddlers, they often invade the space of dogs and this can be very unpleasant for the dog. If you’re lucky the dog will give off signals that you can read allowing you to support Bowser by moving baby away. If you’re not so lucky, disaster can happen.

SAFETY FIRST (REPEATED FOR EMPHASIS)

My final disclaimer: IT IS NEVER OK TO LEAVE A DOG AND A CHILD UNATTENDED TOGETHER. EVER. CHILDREN ACT IN SPONTANEOUS AND SPORATIC WAYS, THEY HAVE NO SENSE OF BOUNDARIES; THEY MAKE NOISES AND GRAB HOLD OF BODY PARTS, OFTEN PULLING RATHER HARD. IF AN ADULT IS NOT AROUND TO HELP THE CHILD LEARN APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR WITH THE DOG, OR TO HELP THE DOG FEEL SAFE AND SECURE, WE ARE SETTING THE STAGE FOR BITES WHICH CAN BE SEVERE. SO, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE OR TRUST THE DOG, NEVER LEAVE THE DOG ALONE WITH A CHILD BECAUSE WE CANNOT TRUST THE CHILD TO UNDERSTAND HOW TO BEHAVE.

JUMPING JASPER!

The Good Dog Blog — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 21:49:00 GMT

Jasper jumps. A lot. He jumps when you get home as he tries to greet you. He jumps when you have something interesting in your hand that he thinks he might like. He jumps on visitors as they enter the house, and even when they stand up from the couch. He jumps when he wants to play. He jumps when he wants to eat. He jumps every time he wants attention from you… All you want is for Jasper to PLEASE STOP JUMPING ALL THE TIME!!!!!!

There are some tricks and techniques we can use to help Jasper learn that jumping is not the right behavior (unless it's by request). It takes time, practice, consistency and persistence – more persistence than Jasper has. You see, Jasper jumps because so far it has worked for him. When he jumps, you make direct eye contact with him, you touch him as you try to either push him off you, or in an effort to appease him so he’ll (hopefully) stop jumping, you talk to him or you hand him whatever is in your hand. So, up until now, whenever Jasper has jumped, he’s gotten what he’s looking for – attention.

The only way to change this behavior is to change the consequences for the behavior. This means that we need to stop giving him attention when he’s jumping. This can be really difficult to do for several reasons, not the least of which is that even though it’s annoying, at some level it’s sweet and kind of cute that he gets so darned excited to see us. It’s also very difficult because every human who interacts with Jasper from now on must be complicit in the training technique and MUST be consistent in the implementation of that technique.

Something to keep in mind before I even begin to talk about how we will help Jasper find a new approach: We are going to try to extinguish Jasper’s jumping behavior. It’s really important to remember that whenever we try to extinguish a behavior, there will be something called an ‘extinction burst.’ This is a process by which Jasper will try even harder than usual, meaning that he’ll jump higher, more frequently and take longer to calm down. This is NORMAL AND EXPECTED BEHAVIOR. The reason for the extinction burst is that up until now, jumping has been a successful way for Jasper to get attention. When jumping suddenly stops getting the attention he’s seeking, he will believe that he didn’t successfully jump (high enough, with enough force, enough times, etc.). He will try harder to get your attention. He will be very persistent in this effort because he expects it to work. It is crucial during that extinction burst that you are more persistent than Jasper. If you understand that his increased effort is actually a sign that your training technique is working, then you will hopefully find the will to wait him out.

Think of this example: You typically get in your car and turn the key to start the engine. One day, you go through your routine only the engine doesn’t kick into gear. Do you automatically understand that the car battery is dead? Not likely. First you will try turning the key again. When it doesn’t work the second time, you will likely try a third time, only this time you might pump the gas a bit and hold the key in that “ignite” position for a few seconds as you hope the engine will turn over. That is an extinction burst. Now, think about this: The third time you try (after pumping the gas and holding the key longer), the engine does turn over. SUCCESS! You worked harder and tried harder and got the car to start! Hurray! So, the next time the car doesn’t start, you will be prepared to try at least 3 times. If it doesn’t start after 3 tries, you will likely try one or two more times before you finally decide that perhaps it’s time to get a new battery, or take the bus…

Jasper’s jumping will work the same way. Jumping usually works. When it suddenly stops, he’ll try harder. If after 5 or 6 jumps, you give in and show him some attention, then he was successful. Now he’ll be prepared to jump 5 or 6 times to get your attention, and if it doesn’t work, he’ll add in a 7^th and 8^th attempt, and so goes the cycle of the dog whose jumping gets worse instead of better when the owners are trying to train the dog to stop jumping. So, YOU MUST BE PREPARED TO HOLD YOUR GROUND UNTIL HE STOPS JUMPING. If you are more persistent than Jasper, you will, in the end, successfully train him to stop jumping.

TRAINING TECHNIQUES (IN THE REAL WORLD)

First we’ll talk about the real world things that you’ll need to do. Jasper must have a polite Sit command in his repertoire. You’ll want to be able to ask him to Sit before he begins to jump (it won’t always be successful in the beginning, but we need to give him an alternative to jumping). So, if Jasper doesn’t know how to Sit on command – every time you ask him – then work on this first. Make sure that he has both a verbal command (Sit) and a visual cue (palm facing the sky and arm moves from parallel to the floor up to about 45 degrees).

Once Jasper will Sit on command, then there will be a couple things you’ll do in the real world. First, as Jasper approaches you, tell him to Sit. If you can see him through the door, tell him to Sit before you even enter the room. If you don’t think he can hear you well through the door/window, or to further drive the command home, use the visual cue. Many dogs respond much better to visual cues than verbal commands anyway. Tell him to Sit before you invite guests inside.

When he sits, tell him “Yes” to mark the behavior and then begin to enter the room. If his bottom pops up, step back and close the door immediately. (The first several times you do this, it may take you as much as 20 or 30 minutes just to get inside. But if you are consistent, Jasper will quickly learn the new rules at doorways and you will be able to come in without being “mauled” by love.) Once you’ve stepped back and the door is closed again, ask him to Sit and try to enter again. If you are able to get the door open, but as you step through, he gets up, then step back and close the door part way – ask him to Sit and try to enter again. If you can get through the door, but before it’s closed, his bottom comes up, step back outside and ask him to Sit. Continue this way until you can get all the way into the house and close the door. When you can get into the space, and close the door and Jasper is still sitting nicely, it’s time to greet him. Very calmly (we don’t want to get him all riled up now), come down to his level and give him some love and tell him how proud you are of him.

If, once you get in and close the door, he begins to jump, turn your back and take a step or two away. Do not speak to him, do not look at him, do not touch him. Take away ALL of your attention until he has stopped trying to jump. All four paws should be on the floor for between 20 and 30 seconds before you turn to try and greet again. As above, if when you turn back, he begins to jump again, simply turn again and take a step or two away. Repeat until you are able to have a nice greeting.

If turning your back is not sufficient deterrent, then leave the room. Do not speak to him, but you can act disgusted and appalled, with a heavy sigh, as you leave without even looking at him. Leave the room for between 20 and 30 seconds,* and then return as if it is the first time you’re trying to enter the room. Calmly try to greet him. If he jumps, repeat the departure and then try again, until you are able to enter the room and have a polite greeting.

*Timing is crucial. If you turn your back or leave the room for just 5 or 10 seconds, the lesson is not learned because you did not really take your attention away. On the flip side, if you leave the room (or turn your back) for more than 30 seconds ,the lesson is lost because you were gone so long the dog is no longer thinking about what just happened and will find some other way to distract himself until your return.

Again, these exercises may require many, many repetitions during a single effort to enter the room, and may at first take as long as 30 minutes before you can get in and greet the dog politely. But, if you are diligent for the first couple weeks, Jasper will start to pick up on it, and you will start to find that what was taking perhaps 20 minutes is now only taking 10 minutes. That’s a huge improvement, so keep up the great work! And remember, every human who will be entering the space needs to be prepared to do this with Jasper. You may find that Jasper stops jumping on you almost immediately, but continues to jump on your partner, children or visitors. As Jasper learns the new rules, he will need to learn it with each human individually before he starts to generalize that this is the rule for every human. Don’t get discouraged if he’s taking longer with some people than others. It just means that that person needs to continue practicing with him.

Once he’s getting good at not jumping, you can ask him to stay calm with all four feet on the floor for a few seconds before the greeting. While we use the Sit command in the beginning because it’s useful to give him a specific behavior that is incompatible with the jumping behavior (if he’s sitting, he can’t also be jumping), it is not always going to be necessary for him to sit for every encounter. Once he’s clearly learning that jumping no longer gets the attention, you can accept him in a standing position, so long as all four feet remain on the floor. So, at this point, when you enter the room, count to 5 before interacting with him. Take the time to put your purse down, or slip off your shoes, or turn off the house alarm, etc. But don’t forget to greet him while he’s being polite. At first we’re just waiting about 5 seconds. If we wait longer, his frustration will grow and Jasper may try jumping again.

When he’ll comfortably stand by and wait for about 5 seconds, you can start to build up by 5-second increments until you reach a point that is convenient for you to do your normal “coming in” activity. If he will wait happily for 30 seconds, but if you try to push it to 40 seconds you find he tries to jump – first react as above and leave the room. Second, go back to only making him wait 20 or 25 seconds – a duration that we know he’s good at, and then build up more slowly. You can even add in a verbal greeting, or a glance at him to let him know you haven’t forgotten about him, and will be with him in a minute. A greeting such as, “Good waiting, Jasper. I’ll be right there…” works well.

Ideally, you will eventually be able to walk into the house, put down whatever is in your hand, turn off the house alarm, take off your shoes and call Jasper over to you for that greeting – all while he is happily trotting along after you, but keeping all four on the floor as he waits eagerly for your love and attention.

SETTING UP FORMAL TRAINING SESSIONS

You can also set up formal training sessions to practice with Jasper. I use a Premier Easy Walk Harness for this. I like this harness specifically because the leash attaches at the chest of the dog, rather than on the back. This is useful for the exercise I’m going to describe. We also don’t want the leash on the collar during this exercise because we don’t want to irritate Jasper’s neck. Do not use face/halter type collars in this exercise.

You can do this exercise with a partner or you can use a sturdy object like a tree or the stair rail in your house if you’re working alone.

Once you’ve got the harness on and the leash attached, if you are working with a partner, you will want one person to stand on the leash such that Jasper has enough slack that he can easily take a couple of steps toward the arriving person, and so that he can sit comfortably without ANY tension on the leash. But, you want to make sure that there is only enough slack that if Jasper tries to jump, his front feet can’t get more than a few inches off the ground. It may require a bit of trial-and-error to find the right spot on the leash to step on, and once you figure out where that is, you should mark the leash for future reference (this can be tying a knot right there, or marking it with a Sharpie). We want the leash on the floor – we are not holding it, we are stepping on it.

The exercise looks like this: Jasper is near a person who is standing on his leash. Another person approaches to greet person and dog. Jasper steps forward and tries to jump, but the short leash and gravity immediately correct him and he’s pulled back to the floor before he can even jump high enough to land on the arriving person. Both humans will ignore him (no eye contact, speaking to him or touching him), as he may try to jump a couple more times before he accepts that he cannot jump at that moment. Then he will either stand calmly, or Sit by default. Once he has been calm (standing or sitting) for at least 30 seconds, then the arriving person will look to him and greet him calmly. The person will then turn and walk away. Wait 1-2 minutes and repeat the exercise. Repeat between 5 and 10 times in a single training session. If you see that after the second “arrival” Jasper just stops trying to jump, and instead sits down or just stands calmly, then you know he’s beginning to learn the new rule. Practice a few more times so that you have several positive trials, then end with a game that he loves.

As he gets good at this exercise, the partner who is standing on the leash will slowly start to give a bit more slack (perhaps an inch or so) at each training session. Make sure that the amount of leash available to Jasper remains constant for the entire session. If you think Jasper can handle a bit more freedom, wait until the next full session (not just the next trial of the current session). Build up slowly until the person can be standing nearby, but not actually on the leash. Then you can switch to a long leash (15 foot) and continue practicing until the ‘nearby’ person is actually several feet away (practice with the person in front of, next to but several feet away, and behind Jasper) and he’s still staying polite for the greeting.

If you are working alone, then you can tie the leash to something sturdy like a stair rail or piece of heavy furniture if you’re inside, or a tree or light pole if you’re outside. Then you will practice the greeting by approaching, but stopping so that you are far enough away that if Jasper jumps, he cannot reach you. Again, wait until he’s been calm and all four on the floor for at least 30 seconds before you greet, then turn and walk away for a minute or two so you can repeat the exercise. As he gets good and stops trying to jump, you will stop closer and closer (by an inch or so each session) until you can walk right up to him and greet him politely.

Remember, that even if he’s learned to greet you politely, that does not mean he will great everyone politely. You will need to help him generalize this rule by asking lots of people to approach (without making eye contact with Jasper), and to please just turn and walk away if Jasper starts to jump. Tell them that they will get the chance to meet Jasper before you’re done, but it’s really important and they are being such a great help if they will only get close and interact with him while he’s being polite. Start with friends and family and then work to the strangers who just want to love your dog. When you’re holding his leash and other people are approaching, ask him to Sit before they walk up, as this will help reinforce for him that he needs to be polite in order to get that attention.

HE WAS DOING GREAT AND THEN….

So what do we do if he kept all four feet on the floor until we were petting him and loving him, and then while we were doing that, Jasper started to jump???

This will happen. It’s normal. When it does, be prepared. There are two things you can do here. If you feel those front feet leave the floor, let go, stand up tall and walk away. Be disgusted. You’re body language will make your point for you. If you abruptly end the interaction the moment those feet leave the floor, and I mean THE MICROSECOND, he will figure it out pretty quick. If you linger and love him for 10 seconds before it registers with you that his feet are up, then it’s too late because he will not understand what caused the moment to end suddenly. So be diligent and be prepared to react.

You can help your dog avoid this mistake with simple hand placement during the greeting. Instead of putting your hands over his head or on his cheeks, put one hand on his back – between his shoulders, and the other hand on his chest just below his neck. If you are petting him like that, then with a simple, gentle squeeze (your hands sort of squeezing together), you can remind him to stay down. So here’s how this technique works. You have one hand on his back and one on his chest. You’re loving and petting and he’s wiggling and happy. You feel his body either push forward into the hand at his chest, or you feel the push against the hand on his back as he tries to jump. You are NOT going to create counter pressure; you are going to create a dead-stop. Your hand should be like a brick wall. So you stiffen that hand, and as he comes into it, you’re ready and holding that hand still. It becomes a force field off which his body will bounce. When all four feet are firmly on the floor again, tell him what a good boy he is. Then you can disengage.

Sounds easy enough, right? Lots of things about training dogs is easy on paper, but not quite so simple to really implement. Patience and consistency is the key. Try to end every training session (even the real world ones) on a positive note. While you are going to be “disgusted” when you interrupt the greeting to walk away, be sweet and happy with all of your interaction with Jasper. If you find yourself getting frustrated, take a moment and a few deep breaths. Know that it is up to us to be patient and to teach him what we want. Dogs don’t come to us understanding that it’s not OK to do these things. The calmer and more relaxed we are while teaching, the quicker they will be to learn. If you’re already frustrated (bad day at work), don’t try to do any formal training until you feel you can really exude a positive, calm energy to your dog.

Good luck, stay focused on the grand prize and you will be met with success!

Chewie’s New Thundershirt™

The Good Dog Blog — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 20:13:00 GMT

YEAH, SURE…

There’s a product on the market called a Thundershirt™ . It’s been out for over a year but I only recently discovered it. When I first read about it and watched some video of dogs wearing it, I was skeptical. The video I saw was of a Boston terrier during a thunder storm. The poor little guy was shaking and trembling and just looked miserable. The next scene was the same dog wearing a Thundershirt™ , supposedly during a storm. He was calm and looked relaxed. His eyes were even heavy and he was starting to doze off. Of course, it was inside and not near a window so there was no way to really KNOW if it was actually during a thunder storm. I thought “Well, that seems too good to be true,” and I moved on.

I didn’t understand the science behind the theory and to me, it didn’t seem like putting what looked essentially like a t-shirt with Velcro on a dog could calm it or help it in any significant way.

In October of this year I was able to attend the Association of Pet Dog Trainers (APDT) annual conference. At the trade show there was a Thundershirt™ booth. I heard lots of other trainers and industry professionals raving about it and ordering 5, 10, 20 shirts to have on hand for use with their clients. I remained skeptical.

HANDS-ON DEMONSTRATIONS

At this point, you might be wondering why I’m writing a blog about a product for which I seem so skeptical. Well, it’s because as part of this conference I participated in a hands-on workshop for some training techniques. Since we did not travel with our own dogs, we used local shelter dogs during the workshop. One dog, Gretchen, was so scared of all the people, other dogs and new environment that she was trembling from nose to tail and refused to come into the work space. Someone declared that a Thundershirt™ was needed and one was quickly made available. I thought, “Whatever. We’ll see if that really makes any bit of difference.” There was a second dog, Pong, with whom I was working. He was very friendly but very, very hyper. He was literally bouncing – and at roughly 50 lbs that’s a lot of dog to have bouncing at your face. He was in a constant state of motion trying to see and say hello to every other dog and every other person in the room. He sometimes glanced at my partners or me if we called his name, but would not give us his full attention. We could not lure him into a SIT with a treat. We could not even get him to focus on treats we were tossing on the floor right at his feet. Again, someone made a request for a Thundershirt™ and one magically appeared.

I watched as it was put on Pong. I stuck a finger under the shirt, against his body, to feel how loose/snug it was on him. He didn’t seem to really even notice that he was wearing it. I was not going to hold my breath for any great miracles.

In the meantime, I was paying attention to the wonderful women leading this great workshop and wishing I was working with a calmer dog so that I could practice some of the techniques they were teaching us. About 5 minutes later, I realized that Gretchen had not only stopped trembling, but she had led her handler into the room and while she was still near the door, she was focused and her handlers were working with her. I thought, “Wow. She really has calmed down. Maybe she just needed a few minutes. But that is a really big difference in her behavior.”

A few minutes after that, my team and I noticed that Pong had stopped bouncing. He was now sitting next to me. We started to work with him again and this time he looked us in the eye and sat when we asked him to. He was still very interested in everyone else, but we could distract him from all that and get him to focus on us. The four of us who were working with Pong were each able to ask him to SIT and get a positive response from him. We were able to play a round-robin game with him to focus on us each in turn, come when called and to ‘find it’ when we tossed treats behind him. I thought “Wow! Now this is a great dog. He could be trained really well and be a really great companion for someone! Is this the same too-hyper dog that I was trying to keep from jumping on my partner’s pregnant belly 10 minutes ago???”

With that I was impressed enough that I decided it would be worth trying this magical device on my own dog. Chewie will be 3 years old in December. He is very sound sensitive. He jumps and trembles with loud noises. We’re currently laying a new bamboo floor and so there is lots of sawing, hammering and general banging around by three big, strange men (Chewie’s description, not mine). So I stopped by the trade show booth and picked up a shirt for Chewie.

Chewie sports his Thundershirt™

When I showed it to my folks, they chuckled and said, “That’s supposed to make him feel better?” I said, “I know, it seems unlikely, but it works.” At least, the official Thundershirt™ comment is that it is 85% effective – meaning that roughly 85% of dogs will experience a decrease in anxiety when wearing the shirt.

So, when the flooring guys were next scheduled, I put Chewie’s shirt on and waited. I was still skeptical, but now at least open to the idea that this might really work for him. When the flooring guys arrived, he barked and barked. This was typical. I thought, “Great. My dog falls in the 15% category,” but I left the shirt on to see what would happen. Well, about 5 minutes after the guys arrived, I realized that Chewie was NOT upstairs in my bedroom – as far from the activity as he could get – sitting on the floor looking pathetic and trembling every time the hammer banged. He was in the room right next to where the guys were working. He was still very alert. His ears still twitched and his head cocked when the hammers went nuts, and when a guy appeared out of nowhere (from a hallway), he did still bark at them for a moment. But it was not nearly like before. He calmed down as soon as they spoke to him. He was not backing off or running away. He was allowing his curiosity to win out. I thought, “Hmmm….. interesting.”

The next few days, I repeated this exercise and it was the same. He would still announce that there were strange men in the house, but calm as soon as they spoke to him. He did not run away in terror, but hung out wherever I was, his body calm and relaxed. Well, this was definitely interesting for me. My little guy has spent most of his first 3 years hiding in my bedroom (whether I’m home or not) whenever anything “different” happens in the house that does not involve steadily handing him food.

I did another little test this past weekend. We were having part of the house measured for new carpet. I put Chewie’s Thundershirt™ on in anticipation of the arrival of this new strange man who would be wielding a tape measure that would be stretched to more than 20-feet long. When the carpet man arrived, Chewie announced it with his usual sense of urgency. The man came in and we all stood there a moment discussing where to start measuring. Chewie got quiet. He followed, at a distance, as we went from one room to another. The first time the tape measure was pulled out, he trotted up the stairs. But here’s the kicker – he stopped half way up the stairs and watched. He didn’t go hide in the bedroom. He gave himself enough distance to feel safe, but stuck around to see what was going on. Then he RETURNED TO THE ROOM!!! He stayed one step ahead of us – out of the way – but he was calm and quiet and not hiding in a closet. This was HUGE!!!!

This morning, the flooring guys were back, so Chewie was sporting his Thundershirt™. Something unexpected happened, but a little back story is necessary for your understanding. Chewie loves and worships my older dog, Cashew. But he’s also a little bit afraid of her. He readily submits whenever there is food nearby. He will back up several feet, sit and wait politely until Cashew has decided that she’s done getting treats. I usually make a point of offering treats simultaneously, but at a distance from each other. This morning I had indulged in a cup of chocolate milk. As a treat, I let the dogs enjoy the remnants of the milk. I wet the back of the spoon and let Chewie lick the spoon while Cashew gets the inside of the cup – then I switch so it’s fair. This morning, Chewie licked the spoon and then licked the outside of the cup while Cashew’s face was buried deep within, getting the last of the sugary milk. He did this three times – licking the cup and Cashew’s face in his efforts to get some too. In three years he has never dared get closer than 2 feet to Cashew while there’s any kind of yummy in the vicinity. But this morning, while wearing his Thundershirt™ , he was brave enough to get right in there actually touching her and the treat receptacle, requesting his share of the sweet remnants. Cashew was totally calm about it and Chewie acted like he does this every time there are treats to be had. I watched, quietly stunned.

MY CONCLUSIONS

So my official comment on the Thundershirt™ is this: If your dog suffers from separation anxiety, crate anxiety, thunder storm anxiety, fear of loud noises, car rides, new people, new places or changes in his environment, then you should absolutely try this product. I expect it is only 85% effective, as the company claims. I expect that it is not going to work with every single dog or in every single situation, but when 85 out of every 100 dogs do experience a benefit from wearing it, it’s certainly worth the time and money to try this product. If it does work, well, think about your dog’s emotional wellbeing; he will be so much calmer, more relaxed and in fact healthier. Yes, healthier. Anxiety releases adrenalin and cortisone into the system. If a dog (or person for that matter) is anxious a lot of the time, then that’s a lot of adrenalin and cortisone flowing through the body a lot of the time. That can lower the immune system leading to more frequent illnesses and it increases the chances of developing various cancers. So for your dog’s health, it’s best to help him be less anxious whenever possible.

HOW IT WORKS

And with a little research I learned how/why the shirt works. It is based on the same theory that recommends weighted vests for children with ADD, ADHD and autism. The concept of the weighted vest is based on the sensory integration (SI) therapy technique of deep pressure. Deep pressure is often used to assist children to self-calm and relax so that sensory stimuli can be processed. The use of a weighted vest provides the child with unconscious information from the muscles and joints. (http://www.weightedvest.com/why_use.html) By this same theory of unconscious sensory input to the body, the Thundershirt™ provides gentle, consistent pressure around the dog’s core. By providing that subtle stimulus, it allows the dog to calm enough to process the more obvious environmental stimuli and thus not be totally overwhelmed by it.

I was very skeptical to start. I needed proof and I got it. In my case I saw 100% effectiveness in that all three dogs (my own included) that I witnessed wearing the shirt were able to calm down and be more relaxed in a highly stressful environment. I believe this is a valuable tool to be used with any dog that experiences anxiety or fear at sudden or loud noises (thunder, fireworks, hammers, etc.), being left alone, riding in cars, going to the vet’s or some other new environment, or any time that the dog seems overly anxious. We may not always know exactly what is causing the anxiety, but a product like this can certainly help to make your dog more comfortable until the scary thing has gone away.

Cashew calmly laying on her bed while Chewie feels confident in his Thundershirt™

Happy Holidays! Here's a Dog...

The Good Dog Blog — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 04:09:00 GMT

It’s that time of year again. The holidays are upon us. We’ve got lists of what the little ones want for Christmas (or Chanukah, or whatever your family may celebrate). We may even have a list of what we want for the holiday this year. At the top of many of those lists is, of course, a new puppy. Puppies are great fun. They are soooo cute and cuddly and just a joy to have around – for the most part. But how many people go out and buy a puppy without ever really thinking through the responsibility they just signed up for? How many parents, boyfriends, wives, grandparents, etc. adopt or purchase a puppy for that most special gift and never give a thought to who will actually be responsible for loving the little guy? Or cleaning up after it, or teaching it right from wrong or potty training it or feeding it or taking it to the vet or training it or….

Getting a dog, whether a puppy or an adult dog, is a huge responsibility and should not be taken lightly. There are several factors that go into choosing an appropriate dog for you or your family. This is not a decision to be made based solely on how cute a fluff-ball she is when she’s just 6 weeks old. That cute little fluff-ball will not be 6 weeks old forever. She will grow up and as she does, she’s going to destroy several pairs of shoes, a remote control or two, important papers, and likely eat something that will cause fear that surgery will be required. She will potty in the house multiple times, even after you believe that she has learned where her potty spot is. She will try to sneak under the covers to sleep with you, even though you’ve told her repeatedly that her bed is the pillow on the floor. She will chew furniture when you’re not looking and likely dig at a carpet or two causing enough damage that you need to replace the whole thing. And the hair! You will go on vacation 6 months after you get this precious new family member and when you unpack at the hotel, you will discover that while your dog is still at your house, you have brought pieces of her with you – specifically the hair. You will not ever truly be hair free again for as long as you own this sweet little angel. And remember – this sweet little angel will likely live to between 8 and 18 years of age. That’s a really long commitment!

I am not trying to discourage anyone from getting a dog. I think dogs are great! I had dogs my entire childhood and currently have 2 awesome dogs that I wouldn’t trade for the world. But, they are a commitment, each with their own unique personality. It’s important when we adopt a dog that we take into account that they are a unique individual. Dogs are not fashion accessories, as much as some starlets would like them to be. Dogs have emotional needs as well as physical needs. They require exercise – physical, yes, but also mental exercise to stay happy and healthy. Dogs can become depressed if they do not get enough socialization and mental stimulation and this can lead to destructive behavior. Different breeds require different life environments.

When choosing a dog, we must look past the cute factor and look at the needs of that dog and our own needs as a future pet parent. We must be honest with ourselves. Consider your lifestyle and what you want from a dog and then consider the breed of the dog and what they are most adept at. For example, if you are an avid hiker and go on heavy nature walks or hikes 3 times per week that average 8 or 10 miles per trip, and you want your dog to join you and enjoy this, then you probably don’t want to get a Yorkie. It doesn’t really matter if you think Yorkies are the cutest dog on the planet. You would be torturing your dog by trying to make him join you on such activities. And I am serious when I say “torturing” because such a little dog simply does not have the stamina for such activity and you can cause physical harm to such a small dog by insisting that they trek with you like that. On the flip side, if you are rather sedentary and want a dog to greet you at the door when you get home, and relax on the couch with you all evening while you watch TV, then you don’t want to get a Border Collie. That would be mental torture for this highly mentally active dog. Border Collies need lots of physical exercise, but they also need “jobs” to keep their mind stimulated. Border Collies, if not actually working/herding, need to have interactive games such as hide-and-seek of favorite toys or treats. They need puzzle toys that require some thought and problem solving skill to get the reward. A bored Border Collie is a potentially destructive dog and/or possibly going to develop compulsive behaviors that can be quite distressing to see and depressing for the dog if they do not get sufficient physical and mental exercise. Agility training, competitive obedience, fly ball or RALLY are all great ways to work out all the energy, keep the Border Collie mentally engaged and increase the bond between dog and owner. But these activities take a great time commitment to train and then attend the competitions. Great fun, but you have to want to do those activities too.

So, when choosing a dog, do some research on the breed/s. Take note as to how much exercise the dog requires, how much mental stimulation the dog needs, how much grooming will be involved – and be honest with yourself as to whether or not you are willing to do it. If you live in a studio apartment, you probably don’t want to get a Great Dane and you probably don’t want to leave a tea cup Chihuahua unattended for 9 hours in a 4,000 sq. ft house. Adoption is always my first choice and mix breeds tend to be healthier physically and more even tempered than many pure breeds. If you insist on getting a pure breed, do some research on the breeder and meet the dogs. Beware of Puppy Mill dogs – it’s a horrible industry that does horrible things to the dogs and the resulting behavioral issues can be extremely difficult to work through.

If you are getting a pet dog for a child, make sure that breed is comfortable with children and remember that it will be necessary to socialize the new dog to children (and the kids to the dog) in order to ensure that everyone is safe.

NOTE – IT IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE TO LEAVE A CHILD UNATTENDED WITH A DOG OF ANY AGE, SIZE, OR BREED, NO MATTER HOW SWEET THAT DOG IS. CHILDREN ACT IN UNEXPECTED WAYS AND CAN SCARE DOGS. DOGS WILL REACT APPROPRIATELY, BUT THAT REACTION MAY CAUSE HARM. CHILDREN AND DOGS MUST ALWAYS BE SUPERVISED FOR THE SAFETY OF ALL CONCERNED.

If you are thinking about getting a dog for an adult, the best way to do this is present the adult with a card telling them of your plan, and then have that adult go with you to pick a dog. It’s all about personality fit, not just physical attraction. We generally don’t pick our life mate based solely on how cute they are, but rather on how well we get along. The same should be true of our canine companions because that is a relationship that will last 8-18 years. Keep in mind, not everyone can deal with raising a puppy and there are loads of older dogs (1-10 years old) who make wonderful companions who need loving homes too.

So, now that you’ve chosen a new dog whose personality and physical needs are suitable to your lifestyle, it is crucial that you get training with that dog. Even if you have had dogs before and have trained dogs, it’s useful to go through a round of basic obedience in a group class. This allows your dog to have practice at socializing with other dogs and people – very important skills. It also allows you to get a refresher on how to work with your dog and provides an opportunity for you and your new dog to bond.

There are four skills that every dog should know – I call them The Four Life-Saving Commands because they can, and likely will, save your dog’s life some day. They are COME, STAY, DROP IT and LEAVE IT. Why these four? Simple: If your dog bolts out of your house, you want to be able to call him to you – COME – before he gets into the road. If he’s already across the street and a car is coming, you want to have a strong STAY command so that he doesn’t suddenly decide to come running back to you. In life your dog will discover interesting things on the ground that could be potentially dangerous to him. If he’s is investigating something that might be dangerous you want to be able to tell him LEAVE IT and know that he will stop investigating immediately. Similarly, if he already has something in his mouth, you want to be able to tell him DROP IT and feel confident that he won’t promptly swallow it.

Remember that training and socialization are not something taught when the puppy is 6 months old, and then you’re done. Training and socialization must continue for the entire life of the dog to keep them happy, healthy and well behaved. Happy holidays and enjoy your new family member!